Well. This week is going to suck. I know this, because today sucked.
I woke up TIRED. Which, hey, everyone wakes up tired. HAHA. But no, I was tired. I'm tired ALL THE TIME, I just want to sleep forevverrrrrr.
High school sucks for everyone. I know it does. But I have never felt so much fucking pressure in my entire life. I HAVE to pass the math ACT of I'm out of the program. Apparently, if I "fail" out of the program there will be hell to pay. I don't know what that means, but I don't want to find out. I'm not sure I'm happy anymore. I have some of the very best friends in the world, and I love all of them so much, and I thank whoever everyday that I have them in my life. Because I don't think I would've gotten this far without them around.
Sometimes I just feel like giving up. On everything. Sometimes none of it seems worth it.
I'm fucking hurting everywhere. My eyes are swollen and burn, my nose feels like it's going to rub off, my whole head feels too heavy for my neck. All my limbs, in fact, seem too heavy. It hurts in a dull achy way to write this. I was SO HUNGRY when I left school and now I feel like if I eat I'm going to barf.
And to make my life seem shittier to me. IDK if I'll get to see my chem for the last time until God knows when. It hurts. I honestly don't think people understand what they mean to me. Or just how BAD it would hurt to miss them. I can't help that they're not coming to Florida, so I NEED to go to Birmingham.
I hate how my life seems so trite and that I'm whining for nothing, but I just don't feel right.
I think something is wrong.
